No more road trips

I am swearing off road trips (by myself) until the kids are at least 15 and even then I am not sure we'll want to be in a confined space with each other so maybe I will swear off road trips forever.

We went to STL last weekend to see Big Craig and family as well as Mimi and the Greats (great grandma and grandpa). The kids and I drove down Thursday after a play date with some of Miss M's classmates. Mr. Man fell asleep pretty much as soon as we went through McDonald's.  Miss M tried to sleep after she plowed through her french fries and ketchup but couldn't really get comfortable in her seat so her snooze lasted less than an hour. She didn't complain about being bored and rather she was just looking out the window wishing she could sleep so I offered her the iPad.

Mistake. Big Mistake.

It's been confirmed (for the fourth time) that Miss M gets car sick.  She watched the iPad for about an hour before she said my name in a voice that made me look in the rear view mirror and hope she hadn't puked all over the brand new iPad already. She broke the last one and I would prefer she didn't break the new one by puking on it. Yes, the iPad was my main concern. Puke can be cleaned up. iPads can not.  I took the iPad from her and then gave her the happy meal box and told her to puke in it. Apparently 2 year olds don't know how to throw up in something. She held the box in front of her and puked all down the front of her leaving her bucket full of nothing but the trash that was already in it.

Thankfully, Mr. Man was waking up (as I do not stop when a baby is sleeping - but I probably would have made an exception for Miss M since shortly after puking she informed me she had to pee - double score). I found the nearest McDonald's and pulled in with a look in my eye that dared any cop to pull me over.

I unbuckled Miss M's puke infested seat belt, took her out of the car, took off her puke infested coat and shirt, took the portable potty from the trunk and sat her on it. I was in the McDonald's parking lot with a toddler on a toilet with her shirt off. I would have called the authorities. No one questioned me. I wrapped a blanket around her because it was around 50 degrees with a 20 mph wind and the girl was shivering. I got clothes from the suitcase and changed her on the tailgate. It was classy. It could have been a country song. She ended up in her pjs (because who doesn't want to wear their pjs when their sick) and riding boots.

We then went inside to change Mr. Man and that's when I realized I hadn't changed his diaper in a long time. Long enough that his diaper leaked and his shirt and jeans were wet. Tough luck kid. I don't have a change of clothes in my bag and I am not prolonging the stop. We got an ice cream to share and Mr. Man had a bottle.

We loaded back up and restarted our journey. The kids were good for the next 30-45 minutes. It's all a blur after the pit stop. Then it started. The screaming. Mr. Man was ticked. He had had enough of his car seat and he was going to let the world know. The problem was that the world couldn't hear him…just me and Miss M. Miss M was not phased by Mr. Man's crying. It's like she doesn't hear it. I on the other hand couldn't bite my fingernails any further down nor could I ignore him. How do you ignore the shrill screaming from a child. Especially when it lasts for two hours. I kept thinking he was going to give it up. He didn't. Until we got about 5 miles from Big Craig's house.  After he got out of his car seat it was like he was a new kid. Happy. Chatty. Playful.

STL was good. We stayed around the house and played and chatted. Miss M and Big Jack played well together and Mr. Man decided he was ready to roll back and fourth.

We had family pictures taken without a meltdown (by any of the children - the adults are another story). Candy corn works miracles.

 Played with Gr. Grandpa. Mr. Man's namesake.

Mr. Man loves cans. You can see the excitement in his eyes when he spies Gr. Grandpa's can even though Gr. Grandpa was trying to distract him with a lame water bottle. Try again Gramps.

Celebrated Christmas with Mimi since we usually don't get the opportunity to see her.

 Played with Mr. Man's toy as it was probably the most popular item.

 Saw what one-upping looked like.

 Played with new (to us) toys in our pjs.

Tried to squirm out of Gr. Grandma's arms because the kid shall not be contained. His words not mine.

And we left Sunday morning relatively early. We had (amazing) cinnamon rolls (so amazing that Miss M ate three and not just the icing on the top of three - three whole ones).

And what do you know. The ride home was cake. Mr. Man slept for three hours and since the car doesn't stop when a baby is sleeping everyone had to refrain from drinking much and eat snacks to not starve to death. There was no shrill screaming but rather just Mr. Man hanging out after yet another trip to McDonald's. I have eaten so much McDonald's since Miss M was about one I just can't stomach it anymore. I am sorry to my parents for ever wanting to go there.