We made it through another day

Today was awful.

I could have cried a few times.

I probably could have cried all day.

I didn't cry today.

But I could have.

The morning started out fine. I guess there was just a part of the day when I didn't think I could take anymore. It was the part when I had to go out and shovel. I didn't want to shovel and I didn't want to shovel while it was 1 degree outside but we had to get Miss M to school and after our last six inches of snow we didn't shovel. When we don't shovel we don't get mail and the snow we pack down turns into ice which is right by our back door which makes it dangerous to get in and out of the house.

I was outside for less than one shows run time which is 24 minutes. I turned on a show for Miss M to try and distract her from the fact that I wasn't right by her side. I came in approximately 20 minutes later and she told me she had a surprise for me. Oh lovely. Her surprises are usually random things she finds on the floor or pictures she's colored. Today her surprise was her hand…covered in red marker. She had colored nearly every inch of her hand. They are washable markers or so they say. It wouldn't come off. And before I could get her to a sink to scrub them she had touched things like her clothes. She didn't ruin anything b/c she was in the kitchen but I seriously just wanted to quit. You can't ask a 2 year old (near enough to 3) why in the hell she colored all over her hand and expect a reasonable response. I asked her anyway. I guess I was at a loss for words and so frustrated. She didn't have a response which probably irritated me more.

So instead of crying I dropped Miss M off at school and decided I would feel better if I went to Target to spend some money. Target helped a little but not enough. Either retail therapy isn't real or I didn't spend enough money or buying things like carrots and brown sugar doesn't cure the loneliness of winter combined with a husband who is never home.

I was so desperate to get out of the house I sent off two rapid fire texts. One to the babysitter to see if she could come over last minute and a second one to my friend who lives in a mansion in suburbia with two kids and a husband who also works a lot. My friend was the first to respond (in the babysitters defense she was in school and isn't supposed to be texting during school). So I threw random stuff in a bag - mainly snacks, juice boxes, food for dinner - picked Miss M up from school and drove to Naperville.

The kids played and fought and played some more.

They made dinner and actually ate it. Alicia had the fixings for pizza so the kids each got a ball of dough and got to roll and pat it out.

They put pizza sauce on it. Miss M was conservative with her pizza sauce where Mary when crazy and had pizza sauce everywhere.

They put cheese on their pizzas although they found eating it to be more enjoyable.

And we baked them.  I refrained from partaking in these delicious masterpieces as I had brought over some thawed hamburger and cooked up some hamburgers for the adults.

 There were promises for ice cream so we all loaded up and went for ice cream.

Miss M got very distracted by the Bubble Guppy show on the television so Mary finished her ice cream for her. Mary doesn't let much food go to waste.

In hindsight the day wasn't that bad. I just needed out of the house. The kids needed out of the house too. I am trying to remember that the day could always be worse but when you're in the midst of losing your already lost mind it can be a difficult thing.